I Am Living For How Much Everyone Hates Criston Cole On “House Of The Dragon”
Fiyin Olowokandi
4 min read
I Am Living For How Much Everyone Hates Criston Cole On “House Of The Dragon”
This is Ser Criston Cole.
Ollie Upton / HBOBut then Rhaenyra’s father, King Viserys, arranges a marriage between her and her cousin, Laenor Velaryon. The marriage is a total political move and nothing more. In fact, Laenor is actually gay, so Rhaenyra proposes that the two of them subscribe to their duties to the throne but keep, uh, seeing their side pieces.
HBOBut Criston is all, “Babe, why can’t we run away together and marry for LOVE?” And Rhaenyra is like, “Do you not understand that I’m supposed to be heir and that the entire lineage is at stake here?”
So, Rhaenyra goes through with her wedding to Laenor. And then Criston KILLS LAENOR’S LOVER AT THE WEDDING.
HBOWorst. Guest. Ever.
Now, flash forward to after the time jump in this week’s episode — 10 years have gone by, and Criston is STILL not over Rhaenyra. Dude. Dude. IT WAS A ONE-NIGHT STAND.
HBOAny-freaking-ways!!! He sucks. Here are a bunch of tweets about how Criston Cole is simply ✨ the worst ✨:
1.
łey @scrpiomood men are soo#HouseOfTheDragon
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łey @scrpiomood men are soo#HouseOfTheDragon2.
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Quinny? @QuinnyTete Criston Cole pathetic fr, all these theatrics over a one night stand. I’ve never seen anything this mad #HouseOfTheDragon3.
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House Of The Dragon Source @HOTDsource Thank you Ser Harwin for beating Criston’s ass ?? #HouseOfTheDragon4.
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Vasilisa @vasilisonka the fact that’s it’s been TEN (10) years and criston cole is still screaming crying throwing up when anybody mentions rhaenyra5.
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Jasmine Lee @JasmineLeeC Ser Criston Cole is out his mind. Y'all had one booty call and you want her to give up her entire life for you??? #HouseOfTheDragon6.
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ruby | hotd spoilers @fortargaryen 10 years had passed and ser criston cole continues to be bitter with rhaenyra..#HouseOfTheDragon7.
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harwin strong’s #1 fan @daemonsgirl so harwin cant punch someone without losing everything but criston can literally murder someone in front of the royal family and be promoted?!?!? i cant stand the greens fr #HouseOfTheDragon #HouseoftheDragonHBO8.
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noah @samanthatarly criston cole possibly the funniest character ever put on screen. randomly spouting disney villain monologues at every opportunity standing around radiating sociopathic rage trying to explode everyone in the red keep with his mind beams9.
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TAИYA? @tbaugh725 Us defending Daemon with whatever toxic shit he does VS us with Ser Criston acting out once #HouseOfTheDragon #HouseOfTheDragonEp510.
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faeryvex?? @ur7hoe Ser Criston really does act like the guys who insult you after being rejected #HouseOfTheDragon11.
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ser harwin’s right hand @nicoonfilm Me watching Ser Harwin Strong beat the fuck out of Criston Cole #HouseOfTheDragon12.
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Neurokida @AshleyG84288214 Everyone to Ser Criston when he admitted to Alicent he slept with Rhaenyra when she didn't even suspect him. #HouseOfTheDragonHBO #HouseOftheDragon #hotd13.
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sarcapsm @sarcapsm #HouseOfTheDragon #hotd Ser Criston: pick me, choose me, love me Rhaenyra:14.
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aeris ♡ @drogonvritra criston cole first ever recorded incel in asoiaf history gets rejected once and starts a coup15.
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ℋ??? ?ℯ ?? ???? @bree_ath Sir Crispin after Rhaenyra said no to his marriage proposal and choose the throne instead of running away to sell fruit in fucking Essos!!! #HouseOfTheDragon #CristonCole16.
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mia | hotd spoilers @silvcrwings they started the day off so happy and had to get married in tears all because criston fucking cole had to have an incel temper tantrum… he’s my worst enemy #houseofthedragon17.
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mac ✨ hotd/trop spoilers @starlessgold #houseofthedragonjoffrey lonmouth: *exists*criston cole:18.
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taenerys ? @falkring criston cole homophobic spread the word19.
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✙???????✙ ˣ @bri_beadle Criston Cole hit it once and thinks that he walks on water like be fucking forreal #HouseOfTheDragon20.
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nightshade ☭ | criston cole is an incel @aromcommunist criston was so out of line calling rhaenyra a ‘spoiled cunt’ even alicent fucking hightower had to stop and glare… men are actually irredeemable21. And finally:
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Merry says dracarys ? @MaesterMerry Checked in with my feelings this morning and I still hate Criston Cole, who is the worst and sucks.Ser Criston Cole, you are simply:
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