“I Get Really, Really Nervous And Feel So Responsible Because I’m Aware Of The Fans’ Stories”: BTS’s RM Opens Up About Feeling Nerves While Performing
Fiyin Olowokandi
6 min read
“I Get Really, Really Nervous And Feel So Responsible Because I’m Aware Of The Fans’ Stories”: BTS’s RM Opens Up About Feeling Nerves While Performing
As Rolling Stone‘s Musicians on Musicians 2022 cover stars, BTS’s RM and Pharrell Williams recently sat down together to talk about everything from their secret collaboration to handling having such a massive fanbase.
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He went on to define rap and why he felt drawn to it, saying, “You know, basically, it’s rhythm and poetry. I really felt attracted to this whole genre to send messages to the world.”
2. RM feels more comfortable writing lyrics or melodies for other artists rather than himself (though he admitted that it was embarrassing for him to talk about this in front of his idol, Pharrell).
Rolling Stone / Via youtube.com“It gives me other avatars and characters,” he explained. “When it comes to me, it’s a complex, and it always comes with the pain to confess. But it’s still the most important part for me.”
Pharrell empathized with RM, sharing, “I think the pain part for me is probably the fun part, because that’s some of the most vivid paint that we can use as artists when we’re filling in what we want to be a powerful verse.”
3. He got into hip-hop by listening to Nas, Eminem, and Pharrell Williams — or, as he called them, “the classics.”
Raymond Boyd / Getty Images“I started to listen to hip-hop in 2005. I started with Nas and Eminem,” he revealed. He also talked about the impact that Pharrell’s music had on him. When RM first listened to Pharrell’s Take It Off (Dim the Lights) (2006), he actually wrote the lyrics down and translated them into Korean.
He also praised Pharrell’s ability to incorporate different elements and genres into his music, telling Pharrell, “These days, genre doesn’t mean anything. But I think at that time, some rappers really criticized the rappers who sang or used autotune.”
4. RM and Pharrell first met when BTS performed at the 2018 Billboard Music Awards. They took a photo together backstage, and Pharrell wanted to work with BTS even then.
Nbc / NBCU Photo Bank / NBCUniversal via Getty ImagesPharrell revealed that though he didn’t want too seem aggressive since they’d just met, he was ready to leaving the awards show and head to a studio to make music together.
5. When he was 15, RM had his first performance at a small club with about 10 people, and he forgot most of the lyrics.
Ethan Miller / Getty ImagesThe experience made him realize that he wasn’t meant to be a star like other frontmen, such as Kurt Cobain or Mick Jagger. Instead, he felt like a human who just loved writing music.
6. RM gets really nervous before going onstage and sometimes performs using a persona to cope.
Matt Winkelmeyer / Getty Images“What people don’t realize is when you have literally hundreds of millions of fans, and you encounter them 20 and 50 and 100,000 at a time. It is a massive voice and it is a massive energy coming at you,” Pharrell began. “You sing, and they sing every word. And you can feel, through their voices, that so many of their lives have been affected and changed because of something that you’ve done.”
Because of how humbling and overwhelming it is to face that onstage every night, Pharrell said he really revered artists like RM and BTS. “Sometimes, your nervous system’s got to be built for that,” he added.
“Every night is a challenge,” RM agreed. “Like you said, that moment after we finished the first three songs [during BTS’s stadium shows in Las Vegas this April], and we took out the earphones and were like, ‘Yeah, we’re fucking back!’ — everybody shouted out that moment. That’s when I really got all the nerves. There’s a different me, a persona, for the next two hours and a half.”
7. After Pharrell asked him how he handles having such a massive fanbase, RM revealed that he feels gratitude and a responsibility toward his fans because of how much they love and have done for BTS.
Han Myung-gu / WireImageIn fact, part of why he gets incredibly nervous before going onstage is because he appreciates how much his fans do for BTS and fears disappointing them. “From the rehearsal and even in the plane, I get really, really nervous and [feel] so responsible because I really am aware of the [fans’] stories,” he explained.
“The fans buy the tickets, and they come from Brazil, Japan, Korea, from everywhere. They just come there for just that one night. So it fills me [with the sense that] I have to pay back. I have to give them and I have to offer them the best night ever of their lives.”
However, that intensity can get to him at times. Though the energy can be too much, RM tries to deal with it as best he can. “I’m a human, and I really get nervous,” he said. “I really sometimes get depressed and even swallowed by all the energies, but I’m trying.”
“Personally, I just want to give [back to them],” he continued, acknowledging their fans. “They brought us from a small city in Korea all the way to the heart of this music industry — Las Vegas, LA, New York — and even me having an interview with Pharrell. It could happen because of fans all over the world. I’m just always grateful, and I just don’t want to disappoint them.”
8. About 90% of RM’s solo album is done, and he considers it to be his first official solo album.
Dia Dipasupil / Getty ImagesHe called his previous mixtapes “an experiment.”
9. RM has had to reflect over BTS’s position as a “social figure” and his own purpose after giving a speech at the United Nations.
Pool / Getty ImagesAt this point in their conversation, Pharrell asked RM how it felt to hit a point in his career where BTS could really determine who they are, what they stand for, what their intentions are, and who they want to be.
And though RM said it wasn’t their intention, he believes that the members of BTS became social figures of sort, especially once they were invited to meet politicians.
“A K-pop band going to [give] a speech at the UN or meeting presidents is like… I think I was really confused,” RM said. “I’m like, ‘What am I? A diplomat?’ I was just a small rapper and lyricist when I was young.”
On top of that, RM acknowledged that he was in charge of most of BTS’s appearances and interviews, adding extra pressure to properly represent himself and his group mates.
10. RM appreciates being able to step away from BTS to calm his mind down after an intense 10 years, especially since K-pop was so different from his original background as a rapper and poet.
Rolling Stone / Via youtube.comRM explained that K-pop, as a genre, includes a blend of American pop music and, as an industry, focuses on groups over inpidual artists. It also involves intense visuals, choreography, and social media. While this comes with its own pros and cons, RM found it to be especially tricky since he started off as a rapper and poet.
“So I think I’ve got to stop this for a bit,” he said, in reference to BTS’s recent hiatus. “We’ve got to shut it down and just fall from it in a way and then see what’s going on — make my mind really calm down.” In doing so, he was able to focus on his solo album.
11. After coming so far in his career, RM has started thinking about his original dreams as a teenager and why he chose to pursue music in life — even if he doesn’t know what’s coming next.
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Though he acknowledged he hasn’t been making music as long as Pharrell, RM recognized that he has been making music for half of his life. “When I started my music, I was 14, and now I’m 28. So I’m in that process, and it’s really tricky and confusing,” he shared. “I just don’t know what’s going to happen.”
To catch more of RM and Pharrell’s conversation, watch the entire Musicians on Musicians interview by Rolling Stone here or read a transcript of it here.
View this video on YouTube
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