We Recast 1996’s “Scream” With Actors From 2023, And — Honestly? — We Killed It
In case you’ve been living under a rock, the sixth installment of the Scream franchise will be thrilling movie-goers all across the country this weekend.
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Despite having such a tiny part, Drew Barrymore’s performance as Casey in the original Scream became instantly iconic. The child actor’s grand return to acting after going through both rehab and emancipation in her teen years was signal to all: Drew’s still got it, baby. Wry, sweet, charismatic, and with a hint of raw anguish, Drew brought it all and relaunched her career. So, who better to catch that Barrymore wave than Ariel Winter of Modern Family fame? I already know she can bring the comedy, and after going through breast reduction surgery and emancipation, it’s clear she’s faced down enough demons IRL to nail Drew’s (and, subsequently, Casey’s) energy. Ariel, if you’re ever up for it, we’d love to see you take a bow again!
Simone Ashley as Sidney Prescott
Sydney Sweeney as Tatum Riley
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Woodsboro High’s mean girl with a heart of gold, Tatum Riley (played by a hilariously scathing Rose McGowan) walked so Cassie from Euphoria could run. Do I really need to say more? Let the battle of Tatum vs. the garage door begin!
Ncuti Gatwa as Randy Meeks
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You already know and love him from Sex Education. You also already know he’s got that nerdy, obsessive bestie energy on lock. But the most convincing reason to cast Ncuti Gatwa in Jamie Kennedy’s breakout role? So Randy can get a sorely needed fashion upgrade. It’s hard to take a Ted talk on horror seriously from a boy in a ringer tee his mom bought him from Old Navy.
Noah Centineo as Billy Loomis
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I defy you to look me in the eyes and tell me Noah Centineo isn’t the perfect pick to play one of the original Ghostfaces. Though Noah’s only really played cocky-but-secretly-sweet before, all it would take is a quick flip of the script to play a sweet-but-secretly-murderous ass. Thank you for your service, Skeet Ulrich, but also — please make room.
Lukas Gage as Stuart Macher
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Stu and Billy were two sick peas in a pod, and Matthew Lillard’s manic performance as the second Ghostface honestly eclipsed the insanity of Billy. Truly, Lukas Gage of White Lotus peach-eating fame is the only one who could really keep up with frenetic pace of Stu’s final act. Don’t believe me? Just check out the new season of You to see Lukas in action.
Jason Mantzoukas as Deputy Dewey
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Between his guest roles on The Good Place and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, comedic legend Jason Mantzoukas basically has 80% of Dewey down. And something tells me he wouldn’t have to work very hard to fall for my recasting of Gale Weathers.
Greta Lee as Gale Weathers
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I will not be entertaining other opinions on this one. Thank you. slides shades on