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Nicole and Teresa (pronounced “Tuh-RESS-uh”) joined the show during the Season 6 overhaul along with Amber. They were definitely more authentic, and they might’ve done well if they joined the cast at a different time. But while they didn’t shy away from confrontation, they relied too heavily on the whole twin schtick (they even shared a tagline, which is unprecedented) and detracted from the focus on Teresa Giudice’s impending prison sentence, which was the season’s only interesting storyline.

When Bravo decided to remove the twins from the show in a moderately successful attempt to pretend Season 6 never existed, they were never seen again.

Not only was Kathy boring as all get-out, but her presence on the show also forced viewers into a years-long relationship/hostage situation with her husband, Rich Wakile (who is, I imagine, what Jeff Goldblum would be like if he played a smarmy, chauvinist toe with a sexual harassment problem). Some people really liked Kathy’s sister, Rosie, but if her most redeeming quality is her sister, I think that justifies putting Kathy in 15th place.

I like Rachel Fuda’s addition to the show this season, but she’s kind of a classic example of “yas, girl, give us nothing!” Her only real storyline so far is about how she wants to adopt her stepson, and in the process, she’s revealed way too much personal information to viewers about his birth mom and custody situation. If she has to rely so heavily on her stepson for a storyline in her first season, maybe she shouldn’t be on the show.

This ranking could easily shift over time once Rachel and the other newbie, Danielle Cabral, get more comfortable on camera and get settled on the show.

Danielle almost feels like a caricature of a housewife. She’s estranged from her brother because she blocked him on Instagram, so he cut her out of his wedding and his life. (If you’re thinking, “there MUST be more to that story,” you’re not alone.) She starts fights over very small things — or nothing at all — and seems to thrive on missing the point. She can dish it, but she can’t take it (she might set the record for most abrupt storming-out-of-group-events in the span of one episode). RHONJ already has plenty of housewives who do all that and more, so her addition to the Season 13 cast feels redundant and unnecessary.

I do not like Danielle, but she narrowly beats out Rachel in this ranking because Danielle is exploiting her adult brother for a storyline, as opposed to a 15-year-old stepchild. 

Jackie’s biggest crime* (and the reason she ranks so low on this list) is that she’s simply too normal and therefore too boring for a show like this. She doesn’t have a Guido tan or talk like a cartoon mobster. She doesn’t start too much drama and cries a bit too much. She just seems like a genuinely nice person with extremely human problems (her ongoing battle against an eating disorder was touching and heartbreaking). Her most interesting storyline was a probably-fake rumor that her husband cheats on her at the gym, and we really have Teresa Giudice to thank for that.

*Ironically, if she had an actual criminal past, she’d probably rank much higher.

Jacqueline was a key player in the early seasons, which is why she isn’t ranked lower. But she also grew into a whiny, mean, selfish person who overstayed her welcome and ended a decades-long friendship with Teresa because she prioritized the show over her relationships. Most notably, it’s hard to look back at how Jacqueline treated her daughter, Ashlee. She made her daughter out to be an irresponsible, spoiled villain and set Ashlee up to be the target of thousands of viewers’ hateful comments. Looks like Jacqueline was the real villain all along.

It would be straight-up disrespectful of me not to include Siggy in the top 10, but it would also be disrespectful of me to rank her any higher than #10. Siggy had one of the wildest arcs in Real Housewives history. She joined the show as a motivational speaker with no self-awareness or emotional intelligence. She cried all the time. She referred to her private parts as her “cookie.” By the end of her first season, she was already a fan favorite.

But during her second (and final) season, Siggy lost her entire, ever-loving mind. She completely melted down when Teresa and Melissa threw a cake at one of Siggy’s favorite restaurants in Boca Raton, Florida. (“We’re going to have to explain to the restaurant that we’re from Jersey!”) She called Marge antisemitic for making an analogy involving Hitler, and even Siggy’s dad (a holocaust survivor) essentially told Siggy that she was being ridiculous. And she had an entire breakdown when Marge called her “Siggy — or should I say Soggy — Flicker.”

Dolores is an RHONJ staple at this point, but she’s also kind of boring. While she’s certainly not afraid to get her hands dirty, it’s usually because she’s involved in someone else’s drama, not her own. She joined the show as Teresa’s long-time friend with an untraditional family situation, which was fun to watch for a bit. But she’s relied too heavily on her ex-husband and ex-boyfriend for the same storylines season after season, and she seems completely incapable of holding her friends accountable (see: Teresa and Siggy).

Ultimately, Dolores is an RHONJ mainstay who brings authentic Jersey Italian energy to the show and bridges the gap between the two cliques (Teresa, Jennifer, and Danielle vs. Marge, Melissa, Jackie, and Rachel). But in recent seasons, her overwhelming purpose on the show is to serve as the Teresa Whisperer and make viewers wonder if Dolores is familiar with the concept of a permanent address. (Seriously, why is she living in a new house, apartment, or townhouse every season?!)

Caroline “Let Me Tell You Something About My Fambly” Manzo helped make RHONJ a hit, and I will be forever grateful. She gave us so much, from the Brownstone to her terrible kids and their weird deli meat game to her infamous “we’re thick as thieves” line. But she’s also sort of a monster, and she had a falling out with her sister, Dina, under really upsetting circumstances (which she alluded to on the show, so I can factor that into the ranking). So she falls in the very middle of the pack.

Or, as a once-in-a-generation genius put it, “A punk is a punk is a punk, and it looks like the Manzos are punks.”

That “punk is a punk is a punk” line that I just quoted excludes Dina Manzo, in my opinion. Dina has been a kind, forgiving friend since the beginning of the show, and she is one of the only housewives across all franchises who actually chose to step away from filming (as opposed to not being asked back).

Dina was the target of Danielle’s obsession in the first two seasons, which must’ve sucked for her but gave the world some excellent television. Those early reunions with sisters(-in-law) Dina, Caroline, and Jacqueline on one couch facing off against Danielle? Nothing better. And perhaps most importantly, she frequently filmed with her shriveled old hairless cat, aptly named Grandma Wrinkles.

What can I say about Melissa Gorga that she hasn’t already said about herself? Not much, to be honest. I guess that’s what happens when you’re on display each and every day. But seriously, Melissa joined the show in Season 3, and her family drama with sister-in-law Teresa Giudice is the backbone of RHONJ post-Danielle Staub. Sure, she’s had some wonky storylines (the psychic saying she has a secret sibling comes to mind), but she’s still been a terrific foil to Teresa over the years.

When I talk about that ineffable quality that makes a great housewife, I’m not 100% sure Melissa has it — but I’m also not sure she doesn’t. I don’t know how long Melissa would last on RHONJ if Teresa wasn’t there, which is why she isn’t in the top five. But she’s still important enough to have survived the Season 6 cast purge, so we must give credit where it’s due.

Bravo / Sirens Media / Via peacocktv.com

Technically, the Kims were never main cast members — but they should have been. These two women did more for the show than almost every housewife put together, resulting in some of the most iconic moments from the early seasons.

Remember all the POSCHE* fashion shows, where drama went to flourish and style went to die? Those were hosted by Kim D. And remember when Ashlee pulled out a chunk of Danielle’s hair? Kim G. was by her side, comforting her and egging her on in equal measure. And when Kim G. eventually grew tired of Danielle’s nonsense, she expressed her frustration like a true reality show queen: “I have friends! You have no friends. Look at you, you’re an old lady with your fake and square t!ts!”

*In case you were wondering, POSCHE stands for Piece Of Sh!t C*ke wh*re Homewrecker Every day

Jen is scrappy and not afraid to get her hands dirty, and unlike so many housewives who back down when confronted, she doubles down. Her one-liners are legendary, and few things are funnier than when she delivers an insult in her super weird (maybe Queens-inspired?) accent that she sometimes adopts, unprompted. She shows off her Turkish culture in a series that focuses primarily on Italian and Jewish families and still fits in seamlessly with the other women. Also, let’s not forget that earlier in Season 13, she blatantly supplied the Turkish coffee reader with information about her castmates and then completely denied it when confronted. THAT is top-tier delusional housewife behavior.

Another Bravo icon, Katie Maloney, recently confessed on Vanderpump Rules that she thinks her chucklefuck scrub of an ex-husband loved her, but he didn’t like her. And I really wish Jen would come to this realization about her husband, Bill, because I’m tired of watching this poor woman stay in such an unhappy marriage. It’s made her last few seasons on the show almost unbearable, but watching a porced Jennifer realize how happy single life can be would potentially bump her up to the number three spot on this list.

Recently, Marge and Jennifer have both lost a bit of their shine because neither of them can let their feud go. They’re both like a dog with a bone, except the bone is actually a pile of crap. HOWEVER, Marge has given us so much over the years that she’s still in third place. She’s not afraid to stand up to Jennifer, Danielle, or Teresa, who’s become a biiiiit of a tyrant in recent years. She has an interesting (albeit controversial) marriage, and she has a colorful fashion and interior design style reminiscent of Betsey Johnson. Her husband is also one of the more normal, less red NJ husbands.

And of course, Marge is responsible for one of the funniest line deliveries in RHONJ history:

“Ya husband’s in the pool.”

“What? Who threw him in the pool?”

“Me and my husband.”

Danielle is an icon and a legend. She gave us so much in such a short amount of time, starting with her first few seconds on screen when she walked out her back door in nothing but high heels and a bikini. She placed The Book™️ on the table in the Season 1 finale, introduced us to Danny, hid in a bush and got her hair pulled in Season 2, pulled Marge’s hair in Season 10, delivered one of the most iconic reunion looks of all time, and gave us the best way to end a voicemail in the history of cell phones: “Have a good life. Or die. I don’t care.”

Danielle Staub is a menace, and she deserves a Presidential Medal of Freedom for her contributions to the national interests of the United States — nay, the world. ???

To be honest, I haven’t liked Teresa since Season 8. But my personal feelings aside, Teresa (aka the real-life ??? face) is objectively the top dog of RHONJ and has been since her table flip heard ’round the world. Since the infamous christening episode, every season has an arc focused on Teresa’s family drama and/or marriage. Bravo paused filming RHONJ during the year Teresa was in jail because the show didn’t work without her. And she also starred in the first season of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip alongside other Real Housewives powerhouses like Kyle Richards, Ramona Singer, Kenya Moore, Luann de Lesseps, and Cynthia Bailey. (And yes, Melissa Gorga was there, too.)

Sure, Teresa isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to pick an apology out of a lineup, but that’s part of her charm. Because whether you love her or hate her, Teresa Giudice IS The Real Housewives of New Jersey.