Ireland Baldwin Admits She 'Really Struggled' During Her First Pregnancy

Ireland Baldwin Admits She 'Really Struggled' During Her First Pregnancy,Model Ireland Baldwin admitted that she "really struggled" during her first pregnancy due to struggles with anxiety.

Ireland Baldwin Admits She ‘Really Struggled’ During Her First Pregnancy

Model Ireland Baldwin is opening up on her first pregnancy following the birth of her daughter, Holland.

The new mom previously decided that she wanted to keep her pregnancy private from Instagram, but felt that her experience was too important not to share.

Ireland Baldwin Admits She Struggled With Anxiety During Her First Pregnancy

On Monday, which happened to mark Memorial Day in the United States, the aspiring screenwriter took to Instagram to share a candid message with her millions of social media followers.

“I haven’t really taken a moment to process all this. I just wanted to write a message here for soon to be moms,” Ireland wrote in the post. “I know I said I wouldn’t dedicate my instagram to my pregnancy/mom content, but getting these words across is super important to me and I hope it helps someone even just a little.”

“I really struggled in my pregnancy as many of us do. Not just by puking everywhere. I don’t miss that. As someone who suffers tremendously from health anxiety, pregnancy shifted everything into overdrive,” she explained. “Every thought in my head pertained to hurting the baby.”

“Hurting myself. Blame game. I’m doing it all wrong. Am I too much caffeine? [sic] Did I bend over too hard? Was my shower too hot?” she asked. “Am I crying too much? Why am I crying again? Do my feet look swollen? Am I even going to make a good mother?”

“I spent the last 9 months worrying about pulmonary embolisms, blood clots, pre eclampsia. I read countless pregnancy horror stories and I watched negative birthing video after video until I’d go numb from it all,” she confessed. “I worried I wouldn’t make it through my delivery or something terrible would happen.”

“Then it all just happened so fast. When she was born, all of this dissolved into nothingness. Nothing ever mattered until that moment,” Ireland continued.”I know we’re all different and our birthing stories are different, but here’s what I want to share from mine.”

Ireland Reveals The ‘Sad’ Things Women Told Her During Her Pregnancy

“I found it quite sad how women would go out of their way to tell me what was going to happen to my body,” she explained. “How a baby would negatively impact my relationship. How my body would fall apart. My t*ts would sag to my knees. How I’Il never sleep again.”

“Then of course I’d get told by few how I will never be able to do this without nanny’s and night nurses,” she went on. “Worse, everyone told me how god awfully painful this whole process and recovery was going to be and how I’ll never recognize my body. Again, we’re all different. Our bodies are different.”

“No one ‘wins.’ This isn’t a contest. But here’s what happened to me. Nearly everything everyone told would happen, didn’t. The delivery was intense, but l’ve been in worse pain. She was born,” she wrote. “My fears fled. My heart was full. I’ve fallen in love again for a second time. I’ve lost loads of sleep, but I couldn’t care less. I could stare at her doing absolutely nothing for hours. A sense of calm has washed over me since her arrival and that has in turn made me feel rested.”

“My b**bs have changed, but I finally have those Pam Anderson’s I’ve always wanted. Just a little floppier,” she joked. “My body created life. A brain!! A heart. Little feet! My body is f*cking magic. No one could tell me otherwise. You’re right, I will never look at it the same. And I don’t want to. I would birth her 100 more times if I had to.”

“My recovery has been smooth. I’m up and on my feet enjoying this weather and my time with family at home,” she wrote. “I couldn’t be more grateful for my partner’s parents and my mom who visited. My partner and I have taken this on together and we make an even better team than I imagined.”

“I’ve never been more in love with him,” she continued, referring to her boyfriend RAC. “I catch glimpse of the future father he’s going to be and it makes me quite emotional. She’s the luckiest girl to have him as a dad. And my heart breaks for those who don’t have a supportive and loving partner through this. I don’t know what I would do without him.”

Ireland Calls Giving Birth ‘The Greatest Thing I’ve Ever Done and Will Ever Do’

“I am so proud of my body. I am so proud of the work I put into preparing for birth. I was as prepared as I could be,” she explained. “Without the breath work I studied, I’m not sure what I would have done. Without my bad** OB, angel of a doula, and the nurses who cheered me on, I don’t know where I would be. I guess my moral here is, you got this.”

“Don’t let people tell you how it’s going to be. Life is scary and unpredictable and this process was terrifying but it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever done and ever will do. Don’t let people scare you. Just take deep breathes and enjoy being pregnant,” she wrote. “Even if you’re a waddling, constipated solar system like I was. Because now that she’s out, I stare at her little feet kicking the air and remember what it was like feeling her kick me.”

“Knowing she was protected by my body and now she’s a little person in the world,” she concluded. “It hasn’t been long at all, and I already wish I could stop time.”