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Below Deck Down Under Recap: Yachting 101

Season 2 Episode 2 Editor’s Rating4 stars ****

Photo: Bravo I was hoping Kristyl and Brandon would get kicked off the boat, but alas, Captain Jason ultimately doesn’t follow through on his threat. Brandon apologizes for saying “Bitch, fuck off” to Captain Jason, but Kristyl still demands more alcohol even after Jason told her they were cut off for the night. Had Captain Lee been here, a water taxi would’ve taken them back to the marina as soon as humanly possible.

The next morning, Captain Jason informs Luke about the situation and says that he had to get woken up for it. Luke says he feels bad and should’ve known better, but he uses being short staffed as an excuse. He asks Captain Jason if a deckhand should be on the night shift going forward as if that wasn’t something Jason already told him on the first day. Based on the knowledge I’ve acquired from this franchise, I thought it was normal for a deckie to be awake throughout the night. Later, in the crew mess, he fills the boys in and says they need to get their shit together, but he’s the only one who fucked up.

When a few guests are seated, Laura suggests that breakfast be served, but Aesha tells her to wait since it doesn’t start until 9 a.m. Laura tells us about how she has high standards and doesn’t “do no shortcuts” due to her experience as a chief stew, which is clearly a jab at Aesha’s management. I’m sure Laura’s a decent worker, as opposed to someone like last season’s Magda, but I doubt she’ll make it through the season if she can’t handle having a boss.

At the breakfast table, Laura tells Carmen and the other guests about how Brandon and Kristyl came close to causing a big problem the previous night. Funny how she says she has high standards yet makes unprofessional comments about guests to other charter guests. Right on cue, Kristyl appears and tells Aesha that she expects to see a bottle of champagne in her room in the morning, which is ridiculous. First, how’s Aesha supposed to know that? Second, I want to reiterate how bonkers it is for her to be acting this entitled when she’s not even the primary.

Then our third stew, Margot, finally arrives. Naturally, the boys are already fawning over her. We learn she’s from Wisconsin and used to work at an Amazon warehouse before joining the yachting industry. After showing her around, Aesha asks if she’s comfortable working on cabins, and she says, “I think so,” in an unconvincing way. Margot then shares that she’s too scared to take the initiative due to a bad previous chief stew and that she always feels insecure about her work. I fear for Aesha, who seems to have a difficult interior.

Luke and Captain Jason chat about the day’s plan and Jason tells him to secure the swim ladder before they pick up anchor. You know it’s going to turn into a big deal because the editors include several shots of it and because Luke’s clearly distracted by Margot. After they successfully pick up the anchor and head to another island, we hear what’s obviously the swim ladder break. When Harry and Adam later discover that it’s missing while getting the tender ready for a scuba ping excursion, Luke’s mad at himself because this is his second mistake on the first charter, which doesn’t bode well for him. As Captain Jason says, this is “yachting 101.” If Aesha can manage the interior well while understaffed, then why can’t Luke?

As Margot gets to know everyone, Luke asks if she’s single and calls her a “good girl” when she says she is. Ew! Later, she tells us that her dating history consists of “really asshole, douchey boys,” adding that she loves men who carry themselves with confidence. Cut to a shot of Luke. They’re a match made in Below Deck heaven. Harry, who’s also interested in Margot, says he tells women he’s six-foot-four when he’s actually six-foot-five because it’s the “golden number.”

This evening is the Moulin Rouge party, which Laura’s taking far too seriously. She plans on doing a Cancan dance but then tells Aesha she’ll only do it if she has a proper dress, so Aesha asks the provisioner to deliver one. Laura’s incredibly stubborn, and it only heightens as time passes. As the evening approaches, Laura tells Margot that they should try finishing decorating by 8:30 p.m. When Aesha comes in and tells them to finish up by that time, Laura says they already planned on finishing by then so that she can get ready. Aesha says, “But not half an hour’s worth,” which slightly annoys Laura since she wholeheartedly believes that you need to take as much time needed to get ready. That doesn’t really apply in such a fast-paced environment, but Laura doesn’t care and once again takes forever to change.

For dinner, the guests enjoy Tzarina’s starter of stuffed baked potatoes topped with caviar. But everyone finds that her pan-fried duck is tough and chewy, and Captain Jason thinks the chocolate mousse cake and ice cream dessert is “messy.” Afterward, he tells us that while it tasted fine, her food wasn’t up to standards, and I feel bad since she’s clearly overthinking things. Thankfully, when Jason confronts her about the issues, she doesn’t take it poorly, and Captain Jason’s glad to have a chef that’s “owning it” and is self-aware about what needs to be improved.

Just as Laura’s about to perform her dance, Brandon and Kristyl leave the table to talk about how Kristyl keeps “coming after Carmen” for no reason. Aesha’s taken aback by how overly passionate Laura is about the dance, and I agree. You’d think this was a life-or-death situation. After what feels like forever, Laura finally gets to perform the Cancan, and everyone’s entertained before heading to bed.

The next morning is guest departure day, but not before Carmen’s request of being woken up by a “handsome yacht crew” is fulfilled. Captain Jason agrees to do it because he’s praying it’ll lead to a bigger tip, so he walks into Carmen’s cabin with a rose in his mouth while carrying a tray of coffee and fruit. Whew, I’d kill to be in her shoes. Brandon and Kristyl also can’t help but get into an argument one last time after Brandon calls her “unclassy” for drinking champagne out of the bottle. Their argument continues for a while, but at this point, I’m frankly too tired to keep up with whatever drama they have. I’m grateful for their temporary entertainment, but I’m relieved that Kristyl and her attitude are finally gone.

After a brief struggle with the fenders, the boat successfully docks, and Carmen leaves the crew with a $17,500 tip, or $1,590 each. Not bad for the first charter. At the tip meeting, Captain Jason introduces the crew to the disco helmet he awards to a crew member who needs to improve and is required to wear it during the night out. The first recipient is obviously Luke, who says it’s responsibility and accountability in “helmet form.” Maybe it’s because I don’t fully get Australian humor, but I didn’t really like the stupid helmet last season. While Luke takes it in stride, I find Jason’s general idea surrounding it to be counterproductive and lazy.

Outside, Aesha FaceTimes her long-time boyfriend, Scott, and she says the big tip will pay for a deposit on a house. She tells us that they’ve outgrown living in a converted ambulance and are ready to have proper toilets as opposed to buckets. “The next step in our relationship is flushing.” Couple goals!!!

After the crew cleans the boat, it’s finally time for the first night out! While the evening itself is what usually reveals a lot about the crew, it’s the preparation that tells us everything about Laura. She takes over 30 minutes to shower, forcing Margot to wait around for her. Then, everyone spends an hour and a half sitting around waiting for her to finish getting ready, which is absurd. Margot’s pissed because Laura’s being inconsiderate and taking ages to get ready while Tzarina’s literally going out in a tracksuit. Laura says she can’t go out in public looking bad because she’s looking for a husband. Girl, you’re on the wrong show.

Shortly after arriving at the club and ordering drinks, Luke flirts by telling Margot that he likes when women “pull off that casual, sexy look” and don’t take forever to get ready. Harry, who earlier confessed his feelings for Margot, tells us that his go-to pickup line is, “Hey miss, how are you?” I can’t imagine a woman falling for someone who gets called “miss” in a romantic way. While Harry and Margot dance together, Luke shares he isn’t threatened because he thinks that Harry being a “long, lanky, full-of-energy Dalmation on ice” will work in his favor. Harry may think calling a woman “miss” is top-tier flirting, but I’d pick him over Luke any day.

Harry’s attempt at flirting fails because after they dance, Margot immediately asks Aesha if he’s gay and is completely surprised when Aesha says he isn’t. Meanwhile, Harry still thinks he has a chance with her. Poor guy! When Margot and Luke step away, Luke tells her to close her eyes because she has an eyelash and then kisses her. Nobody moves faster than a horny man in the Below Deck universe. Margot’s taken aback because it was unexpected, but she isn’t necessarily mad. It’s going to be hard following up Sailing Yacht’s dramatic love triangle, but I can’t wait to see how this trio’s dynamic plays out.

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