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Below Deck Down Under Recap: The Final Straw

Season 2 Episode 12 Editor’s Rating4 stars ****

Photo: Bravo For once, last week’s dramatic cliffhanger wasn’t completely pointless. Adam’s massive mistake with the anchor chain — which Captain Jason never gave him the order to drop — is the central focus of this episode as Jason decides whether he can continue having an unreliable deckhand working on the boat. Luckily, nobody got hurt and the anchor managed to get under control before anything escalated, but it’s not looking good for Adam.

After this goes down, Adam walks João through what happened and tells us that his mistake was because he approached it as if he were dealing with an anchor on a commercial boat, not realizing that a yacht anchor needs to be let down slowly. Six charters into the season, and Adam still doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that superyachts and commercial boats have vastly different rules and regulations.

Later in the bridge, Captain Jason expresses his frustration over the situation to João, saying that he can’t deal with a deckie who constantly makes mistakes. João sticks up for Adam, telling him that Adam’s good attitude and potential to improve make up for his lack of yachting experience. I’ll give him credit; João has surprised me by going to bat for Adam. He believes that if given some time to teach Adam more about being a deckhand, then he’d at least be “doing more than Culver.” Damn right, especially when Culver’s falling into his habit of laziness. However, Jason is already considering firing Adam, so I’m afraid it won’t end well for him.

While the guests go on a snorkeling excursion, Margot and João get to know each other. When Margot asks what his favorite place he’s traveled to is, he says Palma, prompting Margot to mention Tzarina. She brings up that time Tzarina said she wanted to punch João in the face, and João’s like, “What are you talking about?” Seriously, why would she decide to tell him that? In a confessional, João says he only hooked up with Tzarina’s friend once and that they weren’t on the same page since she wanted more and he didn’t, which sounds like classic João. With two wildly different interpretations of the story coming from João and Tzarina, I desperately need to hear the mystery friend’s side of the story.

Tonight’s dinner theme is Slim Aarons, the American photographer famous for his photos of socialites in the 1960s and ’70s. Don’t Worry Darling’s power! Aesha says it’s the least tacky theme they’ve ever had, and I agree. These guests have good taste! Speaking of good taste, the guests have had their eye on Harry all day, and it becomes the topic of their truth-or-dare conversation at dinner when one guest, Veronica, mentions how she wants to dare him to do something. When Aesha walks in on the discussion, she jokes that Veronica’s going to bang Harry, and Veronica says she and Emily can have a threesome with him. “Can you imagine Harry in a threesome? He would not know what to do,” Aesha tells us while exploding into laughter. At least someone’s giving him some attention after Margot’s friend-zoning.

Meanwhile, Jason and João continue their discussion about the anchoring situation, with Jason stressing his concern over continuing the season with a deckie who doesn’t meet his standards. When he calls Adam to join them on the bridge, he tells him that he’s concerned about the fact that it was a major safety issue and that Adam lacks the awareness and experience needed in his position. Everything he’s saying about Adam is true, and it’s a bit ironic that the person who’s been the loudest about the importance of safety is the one getting reprimanded for causing a dangerous situation. Still, I can’t help but feel bad for the guy. When Jason texts the charter company requesting a more experienced deckhand, it all but seals Adam’s fate.

After the guests hit the hay, João helps Tzarina patch up her stubbed toe. She jokes that nobody will want to kiss her when she’s “hobbling around,” and João says she’s “full of shit” for saying stuff like that when she chooses not to be with anyone. She then counters that she does see herself possibly being with someone but that it’d be bad for her “husband and kids back home” to see it. João interprets this joke as having a hidden meaning about her friend, confusing him because Tzarina isn’t being clear about her feelings for him. Based on their constant flirting and cuddling, I will assume that they’ll eventually take things further. Aesha was totally right when she clocked Tzarina for being into João.

While the guys clean the boat and set up the slide the next morning, Culver’s busy eating and making a smoothie because that’s apparently the only thing of importance to him. And as if Jason couldn’t get more frustrated with the deck team, he notices that the boat hasn’t been wiped down, so he asks for someone to do it. But rather than, you know, doing the job he willingly accepted, Culver continues eating. With last week’s Jaimee and Tzarina drama and his increasing laziness on deck, Culver’s getting on my last nerve.

Shortly after, Culver gets a text from a captain he previously worked with asking if he’d be interested in working a season in the Mediterranean since he’s looking for a new crew. Culver accepts the gig and mentions that he has a stew (Jaimee, obviously) in mind who’d be perfect for the job. He views this as the perfect opportunity to continue spending time with her since they live on opposite sides of the world, as if they haven’t known each other for less than a week. Babe, I think you just want someone who will make your bed.

Margot, meanwhile, is annoyed that Harry’s decided to put distance between them after she finally told him the truth. She says that his acting cold toward her is the reason why she initially didn’t want to tell him about her feelings, but I think he’s just taking a step back because she led him on and made him believe that she liked him when she clearly didn’t. I’d say that Harry’s actually handling it much better than I thought he would.

For the second night, the guests want a white party, which is mostly uneventful. All of the worthwhile drama comes from the deck team, which is hanging on by a thread. Jason notices that they failed to turn off the tender’s batteries, so Culver takes care of it. Then he heads to the crew mess to eat, only to be interrupted by João, who’s pissed that Culver didn’t clean the dirty tender as well. Culver argues that he was going to take care of it later, but João tells him that he can just do it now. In a confessional, Culver calls João a dick who’s purposefully trying to make him feel bad. I hate the fact that this show’s making me agree with and defend João several times, but I don’t think he did anything out of pocket. Culver’s just bothered that his job got in the way of his dinner. Shout-out to the editor who masterfully cut to a shot of Culver’s cold dinner plate while he’s stuck cleaning the tender.

Later in the evening, Culver tells Jaimee about how he thinks she’d be perfect for the Mediterranean job, which makes her literally speechless. While she tells us that she’s surprised since they only met recently, Culver rambles in his confessional about how, although they’ve known each other for a short time, he thinks they have a genuine connection that goes beyond a “little flirty boatmance,” which he says with no emotion behind his eyes. When a producer asks Jaimee what label she’d put on their relationship, she says “boatmance.” Perfect, no notes.

For the final breakfast, the guests request that the deckhands and Captain Jason serve them while wearing Budgy Smugglers, which have become a supporting character at this point. Jason hates the idea, but Aesha begs him to participate since “everyone wants to see Captain McHottie’s package,” which, true. After contemplating it — and probably his decision to star in a show that banks on people embarrassing themselves — Jason decides to take one for the team and give the guests a memorable ending to their trip. Standing alongside the deckies, it’s clearer than ever that Jason’s the hottest man onboard.

Afterward, Culver goes back to ignoring his job as he frantically searches the galley for a blender lid to make his protein shake. When Jason radios multiple times asking for someone to wipe the deck so the guests can hang out before leaving, Culver gets frustrated and, as João perfectly puts it, acts like a little boy throwing a temper tantrum. The fact that Culver’s main concern this season has been food is genuinely embarrassing. Like, we get it, you like to eat! So do I, yet here I am writing about your inability to do the job you’re getting paid for.

João’s had enough of Culver’s crap, so when he meets with Jason about Adam again, he mentions that he’d much rather work with Adam than Culver, who he thinks deserves to get fired. Jason’s immediate focus, however, is on solving the Adam problem before dealing with Culver. Adam’s firing is inevitable, but at least we won’t have to wait long for it.

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